A Cup Of Tea She Would've Meant To No One. A Cup Of Tea She Would've Meant To Me.

Two blog entries in two consecutive days?! what!?
i was hanging out with elijah, billy, and this other person i just met named harry (which is a horrible name) today and it was eye opening. Billy was saying how he wanted a tattoo of a celtic cross big enough so that he could tattoo a portrait of his four sibling on each of the points of the cross, and i said, "that's stupid." and he punched me hard in the elbow. he instantly said sorry, laughed, and said i could punch him back, but it wasn't about the punch at all. my brother was talking recently about how he doesn't like hanging out with a lot of friends and he didn't want to hang out with them anymore, which has been happening to me a lot as well, and he articulated what we both thought so well. he said that he couldn't learn anything from the fake friends he had, that he had no way to look up to them and that they were just people who liked to do the same things that he liked to do. i don't think i have anything to learn from billy and i don't want to hang out with him. that sounds really pretentious, which is an overused blog word, but if i'm gonna spend my precious time on people i don't want it to be sacrifice, i want it to be valuable to me. cause let's face it, like bob dylan said, "those not busy being born are busy dying," and i don't want to spend something so valueable as my life on something i don't enjoy in any aspect.
I know you don't read this blog (if you do please comment my myspace or whatever, so that i know you do read it from time to time), but i just want to say i'm sorry Matt Anderson. you give me so many CD's and i barely listen to any of them. i was listening to my library two hours ago on random and If You're Feeling Sinister came up by belle and sebastian, and now i'm already in love with the CD. Since i know you're reading this download the CD Gracie, it's amazing! listening to the song the album is named after, it's incredible. so yes, sorry for being so lame and not watching you're movie or music you gave me instantly.
you probably don't read this blog anymore, but if you do, it's not because i don't want to talk to you that i'm not putting forth any effort to communicate, i'm just irrational and sometimes don't respond to myspace messages cause i just don't "have the energy" to respond to them instantly and then forget. so yah, sorry for that erika :/ . to be honest though, i was getting fed up at prom because you were being all melodramatic with jane, even though we both agreed to go as friends. and then, when you grabbed my arm with your nails, it actually really hurt and pissed me off. now you're all like, oh sorry, but don't be, again, it's not because of these inconsequential things that i'm not talking to, i'm just consistently lethargic and dumb, and i had fun during prom overall. i'm just glad we all went to santa cruz diner afterwards, cause that coffee cheered me up, as usual. i'm an addict, it's true.
Gracie, you're rad, stop saying you're undateable and ugly, or stupid shit like that. i'm sure that they were just fleeting thoughts, but those shouldn't even be entertained cause you know it's not true, and you just want to feel bad about yourself, cause it's easy and makes you feel like you don't have to try. you're freaking hilarious, have good taste in just about everything, and are easy to talk to, so just shut up and stop feeling bad about yourself.
Emma, you make me angry, and you probably don't read this stuff anyways. when we were going out, and some time afterwards, i loved you because you were the perfect fulfillment of all the ideals i held true. i've matured a lot since then though, and now you just make me sad. you're so smart, sharp, up to date on your lame video game and internet lulz, have a good taste in music, but you just use people. you go from one person to the next using them till they give you who they are, then you check them off your list of people to be in with, dispose of them, and then expect them to be your friends afterwards. or at least you do that to people you date. blah blah blah, you don't take anything i say seriously anymore, and like i said, you probably don't read this.
none of you guys asked for any advice or "shoutout" or whatnot, but to be honest, one of the main reasons why people follow blogs are to check if they are referenced or talked about, so i'm sick of beating around the bush.