If You Could Be Told What You Can See Or Read, Then It Follows That You Could Be Told What To Say Or Think.

my recent super caffeine intake is putting me on edge. i haven't been getting enough sleep and i've been working too much, even though it's not that many hours, i'm just used to relaxing all the time. after this weekend i will have worked 35 hours this week. hooray for money i guess. i don't have anything i want to buy though, except for beatles rockband. singing helter skelter and because? i say yes. say yes, good song. even recreating and playing video games is pissing me off. it's bad. hell, even when i was reading i was getting too hot and angry. i was smart enough to switch into shorts and read outside, which was refreshing, but of course i made a cup of tea to go outside with, which only made me feel good for an hour and is now wreaking havoc on me. caffeine doesn't make me hyper, but it does put me in a good mood, and the back of my head hurts and my brain is all muddled without it. dependency on drugs, yay.
i was being trained by a co-worker recently, and she said something that was so insulting it was funny. she was showing me how to clean out the crates the dogs sleep in, and she said you should always keep the fan on so it doesn't stink up. so of course i asked, "where's the switch for the fans?" and this is what she says, verbatim, "oh it's right there. if the switch is up that means they're on, and if it's down it means they're off."........i laughed on the inside pretty hard. she was probably just in that super explaining mode, and i bet somewhere one switch is weird and gets turned on when the switch is down, but seriously? seriously?! so dumb.
i wish i had a calling like jake or geoff or skylar or something. they all know what they enjoy, and what they enjoy has a career that follows it. i don't like anything that you could turn into a job, or at least not enough that i could make a living out of it. cabrillo should be fun, but what am i gonna do with it?? i hope my curiosity gets piqued there, take a class that is so interesting i might dedicate 45 of my only golden years of life to it.
house of leaves is good, but i hate the page long sentences. it's so pretentious of the author, and insults the reader. it's like, "hey, i know no one could hold all of this in their head, but i don't care about my readers, so fuck 'em." i'm not against long sentences as a whole, and i would rather an author assume i'm too smart than too stupid, but does he have to use such meandering, unnecisarry, boring, "beautiful" language? the sentences only happen when one character talks, and sometimes they're good, but a lot of the time i lose concentration halfway through and don't want to start again. it's just annoying and useless.
if you believe in soul mates, then why do you even try? it will just happen regardless of what you do. and if you have a soul mate, but it means that you have to go out and go get them, then they cease to be soul mates. it's just a lame expression used by helpless retards, i mean romantics, who teach their children that they can be whatever they want to be, even if they're held back a year in kindergarten. what am i talking about? i do think children can be whatever they want to be, i am just in a bad mood. damn caffeine and lack of sleep.
i need less people in my life. i dont' have that many, but i still wish i didn't have so many conversations to start and connections to upkeep. societal pressures prevent you from being honest and saying, "you know, i don't really like you. we dont' have anything in common and i don't want to talk to you again." since when have i cared about society? since when has society not dictated everything i do?...what am i talking about? good question. starmen, purple grape blood of emporers, leaves made out of houses (wait.), federer playing tennis with a white pong-esk thing, petra arkanian, tetra-is, n-blox, kathleen, bitch, haha.