Reliability

important character trait. that probably isn't technically a character trait, but either way, i definitely like it in other people. reliability, punctuality, and honesty are three very important traits i look for in people. so if you hate me, and tell me you don't like me every time i ask, and show up when you say you'll show up, baby, we might have a future.
i caught up with a "friend" i hadn't talked to since last year. i really dislike this guy. he lies about everything. i saw him a week ago at school, and left as soon as i saw him, but when i talked to him tonight he says he hasn't visited school since last year. i don't get it. he rambles on about everything, and he aimlessly goes through life, complaining every step of the way about his circumstances, and telling everyone he meets about these poor series of unfortunate events. he doesn't shave, he has bad breath, and he shakes his head a lot when he talks, and for some reason i suspect he has some sort of mental problem, but that doesn't change the fact that i don't like him. anyways, i was talking to him and i thought to myself, "you don't care what this guy thinks of you do you? he doesn't know anyone that you like that he could ruin your relationship with. why not ask him some real questions about what he thinks about life, the world, religious and political views, and that kind of stuff?" and for some reason i decided to just keep making small talk about how his christmas break was going and if he liked his job. i don't know why i didn't ask him those questions. maybe it's because i don't care what he thinks of those things, or even that he might talk to me even longer and i don't want that. but, i don't think it was either of those things. i think it's because i'm afraid of feeling awkward, and that i don't have any guts. i don't like taking chances, even when there is no danger. i want to protect myself even if the outcome may be more interesting. i like feeling safe in my bubble, instead of being unprotected and more true to myself. i do this a lot though, and it's not always about what questions or answers i ask/give people. i won't do things because i would rather relax, or i won't go out of my way to make friends cause it's more comfortable drink coffee by myself, or i won't make plans with friends cause i've convinced myself that books are more interesting. i don't like taking risks, but who knows what opportunities i'm missing out on. i just hope i don't regret things when i look back.
on that note, i was thinking about it, and i'm gonna be such a good grandpa. by then i'll be very well-read, and i'll know all kinds of interesting stuff, and i'll be able to talk to my little granddaughter and tell her all about the world. all about the life she'll most likely have, and the passions she'll have. i can't wait to ask her what her ambitions are, and hear her shrill laugh when i spill coffee on myself.
Simple Pleasures: walking, standing on the edge of a cliff, feeling the blood pool in your finger tips when you stand still with your hands limp, opening a bottle for someone who can't, having the exact song you were hoping would come up get chosen on random, running your hand through your hair.