Why Linger With The Ocean And Sky? And All He Said, "I Can't Breath For You, Or Laugh."

You hear about these villages, filled with these people. simple folk with simple lives. no electricity, no soda, no fluffy mattresses. they grow their own food, raise their meat, it's all manual. I used to think i couldn't ever live in a place like that. i think i was supposed to be born in a place like this. although there is the stress of whether your crops won't yield a sufficient harvest, or other such problems, it sounds like a great life. i wouldn't want to be isolated, i would prefer to have a wife and kids, and possibly a neighbor or two, but not ones whose house i could see from mine. i just get stressed when having to deal with typical societal problems. everyone wants to scam you, exert as much power as they can over you, talk talk talk to you. can't anyone just listen for once? all i do is listen to everyone, i never stop asking them questions. sure, i do find what you're going through interesting, but why don't you ever ask me what's going on with me? and no, only asking me one question, listening to me for a few sentences, and then relating what i said to something that has happened to you, which you go on a 30 minute tangent for, doesn't count as including me. now, if i were a normal, stupid person, i would typically start doubting myself and saying, "well, isn't it selfish to want to start talking about me?" but only self-loathing, unsure-about-themselves, sad people say that. people consider themselves my friends, when all we do is talk about them. and of course, i'll listen. i always listen. what else is there to do? i just want to live with a woman, growing my own food, in the woods. i don't want to be completely cut-off, i would be fine with visiting society, even for entire weekends, i just don't want to be emersed, day-in day-out, in it. because, society, in and of itself isn't a bad thing, for i enjoy many things about it, i just wish i could detatch a bit from it, at least for a while.
i can't stand people who hate themselves. it gets so boring. it's all the same really, just get over it. yes, it's a part of growing up, but that "depression" stage is only suppose to last till your 16. wahh, you won't be the next Tesla, get over it. is it important that anyone remembers you when you die? will you know if anyone remembers you? no, so stop being so sad about how unimportant you are and just live life. it's such a beautiful thing.
i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore. one of the main things i would miss about removing myself from society is listening to music. i can't imagine a life where i couldn't listen to all my favorite bands. humans have learned to live in concentration camps though, so i'm sure i would get by.
i saw birds fled from me yesterday, and it was one of the best things that has happened to me in a long time. the show was only an hour or so long, but when it was over, i had to go for a walk. i just had to move, i was so excited. i turned on the smiths and started singing along to the lyrics, not caring if people on the street heard me. i've been doing that a lot recently, or at least whenever i walk to and from school. anyways, the show was great. and here's the funniest thing about it, no one that i knew went! i didn't recognize anyone there. i don't understand, i feel like everyone is a poser (or should i say phony, :P) around here. i mean, if you're sick or doing something else, like, whatever, but everyone talks about how they want to do real things, and hang out with real people. but no one. does. anything. ever. at least that's what. it feels. like. i don.t. know. it'. just. get's really. annoying whe.n people stay home all day.. and complain about how the world doesn'. t. do exactly what the person wants it. todo. and how they want to m.ove away. far away. but they don.t actual.ly take anyy.. steps tow......ard acheiving tha.t goal. and i hope you're seeing. the iron-ee. in all this. because i couldn.t.t.t.t. be any more blatant really.
arbeit macht frei